Real is Rare.
Today was our last full day at camp, it was golden hour, and we all decided to capture some pretty great pictures. Knowing me I am very awkward when a camera is pointed at my face and I am told to pose, but today I felt pretty comfortable with it. Especially with all my friends by my side cheering me on.
This last week I have been at yearbook camp, at Crown College, with my fellow yearbook class. I have learned so much about how to make a great book, use my social media, take pictures, and I’ve met a ton of great people. I also have gotten the opportunity to work with a MacBook Air, which I am using right now, and it’s something I really want to invest in. Especially if I want to keep up on this blog.
I’ve also decided I want to switch up my blog and start writing about whatever is going on at the moment. It has been a challenge trying to keep up with this blog, but I am trying my best!
I still haven’t gotten my computer fixed, so I’m blogging from my phone. Honestly it’s kind of difficult cause I was so used to the computer.
These past few days have been such a blast. I have gotten to hang out with all my friends, stress and final free. The one struggle I have now is not wearing mascara when I go to hang out with my friends. I always want to add “just a little bit”, which I can now since I am done with my goal, but then again it makes my eyelashes heavy, it gets in my eyes, and I want to be comfortable in my own skin.
I’ve decided I’m going to start a new and easy goal for myself. It’s the no heat challenge on my hair. For this I can’t use any heat, such as curling iron, straightener, blow dryer, etc.. I am going to do this all summer besides these specific days: my senior pictures, July 18th and my aunts wedding in August. Otherwise I am going to be heat free.
The reason I wanted to do this was so my hair can grow longer, faster, and healthier. I started cutting my hair shorter at the end of freshman year and this last January I chopped it. Since then I haven’t gotten a hair cut. I also regretted cutting my hair since then as well. So, now I am going to start the process of growing my hair out. I’ll try to post updates, but since it won’t be easy to notice I’ll post a before and after at the end of the summer!
This journey has taught me so much. I learned how to control myself when it comes to consuming caffeine in anyway, to go to bed earlier, finding me time and most importantly how to love myself. on Thursday, the day after I completely my goal I decided to wear makeup, only to find I dislike it very much now. I also found out how much my skin doesn’t like bronzer (which is all I wear, besides mascara) because I broke out a little bit the next day on my chin and nose. It also could have been because I decided to have a coffee as well to in a way treat myself. My body was so energized with the caffeine I had it was so great, but I want to continue to push myself to not drink caffeine and for sure no makeup.
I haven’t been able to post much since my computer isn’t working and all I have is my phone so I am very behind on my posts. Hopefully my computer will start to work soon and I’ll be able to post more! Thanks for following me on this journey!
Sorry I haven’t posted in SOOO long!
These last couple weeks have been so great! I am so comfortable in my own skin now, it doesn’t feel weird to go out in public anymore with no makeup. My skin has always been pretty healthy, but I have definitely noticed a difference since the beginning. I only have a couple days left and I have been thinking about if I should wear makeup this Thursday. I decided I didn’t want to, because it just seems like too much work now and if I don’t need it then why wear it?
The only real struggle I have is not having caffeine. I almost gave in like three times this last weekend. Then I thought to myself, “Alana in the moment you might enjoy it, but once you’re finished you’re going to regret you ever did it.” So with the feeling of guilt in the back of my mind I stayed away from the caffeine.
My confidence Tuesday was decent, but it wasn’t a great day. I had some personal issues going on so I wasn’t too focused on how I looked at times, drinking my water, and getting the sleep I needed. Overall I did finish the day with getting my workout in, no makeup, no caffeine, and I did eat breakfast.
I ended up going to Caribou after my workout and it was so tempting to get a coffee. It was like I had the little devil and angel on each shoulder and one was saying, “You’re having a bad day, you deserve this.” Then the other would say, “No Alana you got this, two more weeks!”. Thankfully I made the right decision and got a smoothie.
Monday was a good day. I have gotten more and more comfortable in my own skin. I am starting to love myself more for what I look like naturally. Getting ready for school each morning is so much easier than it was before. I used to spend a solid 10 minutes putting makeup on. Now, I have more time to eat breakfast and not have the feeling of being rushed.
Eating breakfast each morning has helped me with being more energized and the need for snacks is much less. Before, I used to eat so much snacks throughout the day and since I started eating breakfast that has gone down a lot.
Since my sleep schedule has changed my body is getting more and more tired towards 9pm. The one negative about this is my homework usually isn’t done by then. Once I am finished with my homework it is so easy for me to fall asleep. I used to struggle with falling asleep, because I would alwasy sit on my phone until 12am or later, then try and fall asleep.
It’s almost been a week and I am so happy with how I have handled everything. I know it isn’t a dramatic change for a lot of people, but for me I never finish my challenges and this is only the start. I want to continue challenging myself and completing my goals after this.
Two more weeks to go!
This weekend was actually really great. My self confidence has grown so much since Wednesday. I had baksetball all weekend and I got to hang out with some of my closest friends, who I haven’t seen forever, and I felt confident around everybody without makeup. We all took pictures together and usually I would’ve went and put makeup on before so I would look decent, or so I thought I would. This time I didn’t and I felt pretty confident with it.
One big challenge this weekend was not having coffee. I had to wake up at 5:30 for basketball and all I wanted was coffee to wake me up. Pushing myself to not have caffeine is really hard, since my body has become so dependent on it. I wanted coffee so bad that I actually had a dream that I went to caribou and bought a Caramel Cooler and drank it. I woke up in guilt thinking I had actually done it. A plus tho is all my headaches have gone away, which is really nice and it is easier for me to focus.
What I have noticed is that my skin has cleared up, even though I didn’t really have much to begin with. I also have noticed my eyelashes are filling in more which is the best. Another thing I have noticed is my body is getting used to going to bed earlier and it is getting easier to wake up for school in the morning. Finally, working out more frequently is making me feel so good about myself. I look forward to it everyday and each time I do workout I push myself to do more.
To end the week I felt pretty great. My skin was clearing up, minor headaches, and my body just overall felt great.
When I started this challenge for myself, I also started to use a new face wash. I have already noticed a difference in my skin. I know I have also been drinking a ton of water and I haven’t been wearing makeup, but this face wash has made my skin so incredibly smooth, it’s amazing. Also, my blackheads are clearing up! They have been on my nose and chin since seventh grade! I never thought this day would come.
I felt less insecure at school today. I feel more comfortable and I am starting to like the way I look without makeup more and more.
Another thing that was a challenge today was posing for pictures. Lucy Johnson, a friend of mine, and I went outside during yearbook class to take some pictures. I had her posing for me so I could post some online. I was super comfortable from where I was at, which was behind the camera. Then Lucy had me pose… boy oh boy, I’ll be honest that is one of the hardest things for me to do, especially without any makeup on! Also, my hair and outfit were not the greatest and I am just an awkward person once a camera hits me. I felt super uncomfortable, and Lucy noticed and ended up giving me a hand. She told me how to pose and kept on encouraging me. I started to feel more comfortable with myself, not completely though we still have aways to go.
I just have to put this out there quick.
I think self-love is something we all need to work on. By the end of this journey I hope that I love myself more than I ever have before. I also hope that I am more confident with the way I look and that I stop stressing over my tiny insecurities.
Thursday I felt even more self conscious than I did the day before. I felt like my insecurities were showing more than ever. On top of that, I had a bad hair day, my headaches were coming back and I just felt so naked without my makeup.
The urge to consume caffeine was honestly so strong. Doing this made me realize how dependent my body was on caffeine and it makes me kind of irritated with myself. Another urge to fight was every time I looked in the mirror I wanted to so badly put makeup on. I felt so insecure without it that day. I just wanted to go home and hide up in my room, where no one else can see me.
Not wearing makeup for me isn’t the hardest thing ever, but it really does get me thinking about all my flaws and whether or not people notice them and I think that is what really brings me down. It’s so easy to tell myself to not care what people think, but deep down I care a lot.
Even with all that going on I still finished the day makeup-less, I drank all the water I needed to to reach my goal, I ate breakfast, and I got 8 hours of sleep.
Alana Unfiltered 